Anime: Sword Oratoria
Eps: 12 MyAnimeList Score: 7.05/10
TL;DR Ais is great. Everyone else is meh. Lefiya is a stain on my conscious. Would not recommend, but it has enjoyment value. No boob strings attached.
I didn’t wanna do this. I really didn’t. But I just couldn’t resist. I just can’t. So here we go. My take on Sword Oratoria or, as people in the biz call it, ‘Where’s Waldo: Bell Cranel Edition’.
I actually loved DanMachi. And I mean for more than just the boob string (but god bless those too). The music, the sound effects, the fight scenes, and the characters all jumbled into an OK plot with a meh ending. Now, here’s an exclusive look into the minds of the creator. What I imagine it looked like making this show.
“For the sequel… *collective beard stroking intensifies*… Let’s keep the same quality of plot but make everything else significantly worse *inquisitive beard strokes*. Hear me out on this one guys. Let’s make Ais, the most boring character of DanMachi, the star of the show and then… *collective inquiry reaches crescendo* AND THEN we take some random elf, even though there are already a bunch of undeveloped, already introduced characters from DanMachi, and make her the new Bell. Just with less development but the EXACT same goal as him. Whaddya think?” *collective release*
And lo and behold, we have Sword Oratoria. I’ll get the positive points out first, since there are few and it won’t take long to cover.
- I liked Ais. I thought she was a cool character this time around and seeing her perspective was actually a fresh concept. Reminded me of A Certain Magical Index/Scientific Railgun. Awesome sauce.
- Seeing Bell grow in drastic intervals and stir up the fighting spirits of the Loki familia was very satisfying as a fan of the original show. Getting to see the reaction shots to the Minotaur fight and the after effects was the highlight of the show.
- I actually enjoyed seeing new levels of the dungeon. They skip around a lot but they do get to level 59 at the end, the lands only gods had seen up to that point. New environments and scenery are always welcome. I’ve seen enough god damn caverns to last a lifetime.
- The last fight of the show is pretty damn epic. Gareth blocking the greater magic hell-fire from that she-demon while dual-shielding was the most intense thing by far. All I could think while watching was, ‘Oh, shit. This is what happens when you don’t equip your party correctly.’
And so ends the good parts. I’m surprised I came up with four. Unfortunately, three of those are specific moments and the rest of the show outside of these moments is actual horseshit. I’ll go through points 1-4 again, but this time with feeling.
- Every character besides Ais just doesn’t do it for me. ESPECIALLY LEFIYA. Her desire to get a head pat from Ais and constantly fantasizing is so annoying. As a mage, she needs to learn how to defend herself while chanting. She ‘learns’ it, but it’s never relevant. She has some bullshit magic spell that just board clears the whole fucking place FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. All of the other characters may as well be cardboard cutouts with a single bubble of text as their lines because that’s all I see them as. Tione and Tiona, talk about boobs or the boss. Loki wants to molest Ais. I’m pretty sure Bete would beat the shit out of a child if he was angry enough. Gareth, Finn, and Riveria were great but got practically no screen time other than to have secret meetings about the familia’s plans. How could you literally circumvent every cool thing about the show. That has to be on purpose.
- Bell had maybe 5 cameos. All of them were followed up by Lefiya getting jealous of ‘the human’ (racist much) and pretending she wants to get stronger when, in reality, she just wants a damn head pat from Ais. What’s next? Holding hands. Good lord.
- Cool dungeon was cool. They skipped nearly all of it though. Good going. Watching them walk through caverns for half the show was clearly the best option.
- Every fight besides the last is just a crumpled ball thrown in the trash of the human mind. Everything is a stalemate until Ais, or whoever is there, finishes the thing with one hit like it was a newborn baby puppy getting kicked across the room. For the uninformed, this is surprisingly easy to do. At least physically. Morally there may be some whiplash. There’s a 10 second clip in the opening of Ais and Bell fighting which holds more impact than 99% of the battles in the actual show. STOP MAKING OPs BETTER THAN THE SHOW. I’m looking at you Berserk. Why would you ever, EVER make an opening 2D and beautiful when the whole show is a shit stain on a boot? I digress.
Overall, I would never ever watch again or even touch it with a pole the length of a Minotaur’s sword. Except maybe to mock it with friends.